Sunday 11 September 2011

The Highway Duel


Do you remember Steven Spielberg's first film, The Duel? A terrified motorist (played by Dennis Weaver) is stalked by a menacing truck, driver unseen. Drive on the autostrade in Italy and you can bring that film to life in your own car.

There is something about a huge hulking mass of metal right on the tail of your little Fiat Panda that surely takes weeks off your life. Signs overhead urge drivers to mantenere una distanza di sicurezza (maintain a safe distance), but as far as I can see, I'm the only one trying to do it. The other drivers feel the need to fill in those empty spaces, sometimes with camions (trucks).

The A1 is the main highway between Italy's largest cities, Milan and Rome, and portions of it are made up of only a slow lane and a passing one. There is no room for anything in between. There is a stretch between Bologna and Florence where this is compounded by the twists and turns and tunnels of driving through mountains. The signs may urge you to rallentare! (slow down!) but everyone seems to ignore them.

On this steep highway you may find yourself behind a long line of barely moving trucks. You move to pass them only to discover the vehicle that seemed far away in your rear view mirror is suddenly on your bumper, with the driver blowing his horn and flashing his lights for you to move over. You would gladly do so if only the lane to your right was not full of barely moving vehicles riding each other's bumpers and leaving no room for you.

What to do?

After nearly two decades of living in Europe, I am used to the Monte Carlo 500 driving habits of Europeans on the autostrades (super highways) of various countries. I find the French the most angrily aggressive. Germans are impatient. Austrians will follow you until you stop so they can inform you that you have done something wrong. The Italians don't care what you do wrong as long as you get out of their way.

Coping with Italian drivers is taken to a new level when they are truckdrivers. They are bullies on the road. You can almost always count on them to move into your lane abruptly, without a signal. Some seem to enjoy scaring you as they close in on your bumper in a tunnel at night, flashing their lights and honking horns that echo loudly in the confined space. It must have been such an experience that inspired Steven Spielberg to make The Duel. Don't be fooled into thinking the truck with a large picture of Padre Pio on the back of it has a saintly driver. He is hell on wheels.

Not long ago an Italian road safety group set up cameras on some of Italy's main highways to focus on the driving habits of truckdrivers. Almost all were filmed talking on cellphones ("but that's normal for everyone," an Italian friend told me). The clip that got people talking was the driver caught eating spaghetti as he drove his truck one-handedly down the autostrade. My friend pointed out in all seriousness that penne would have been easier to handle.

My own experience with the multi-tasking of Italian truck drivers took place a few years ago on a stretch between Milan and Bologna. Perhaps lured into a sense of security by the long straight road, the driver decided to relax a little. As we passed, I looked up to see him with one bare foot on the dashboard and his left hand on the wheel. He had an electric shaver in his right hand, smoothing over his cheeks and checking his progress in the rear view mirror.

I don't know about his beard, but I thought we just had a pretty close shave.